Laura asked me twice to write this. So now I will. ---

April 2007

There are three distinct parts to this story. However, they lead to a very sticky ending.
Part I

I was headed to Laura's house for Jennifer's big birthday celebration. We had reluctantly agreed to go to H20's Salsa night. I say reluctantly because 1) I don't go to clubs anymore (that's so when I was 19!) 2) I don't like going anywhere South of the city since I'm a scaredy cat from the suburbs. Over brunch, I had guilted Jenn about making us do it. But I was promptly put in my place by Laura and we were on our way to go.

Before getting to Laura's, I decided to stop by Giant to buy a new toothbrush since I didn't bring one. I was planning on staying the night, so having stank breath was not really an option. On the way to the checkout, I saw Cadbury eggs for sale. The sign of Easter! (for me at least) I love me some yellow peeps and a creme-filled Cadbury egg. It was 2/$.89, how could I say no? I proceeded to the cashier and in typical environmentally-friendly fashion, declined a plastic bag and popped both the Cadbury creme eggs and the toothbrush into my Fendi.

Part II

My last semester in grad school, I decided I needed to drastically cut back and concentrate solely on my studies. Well, it didn't quite work out like that (Thanks, Mike for guilting me into keeping my job), but I did go part-time at my firm. What that really translated into was I was taking Fridays off to "catch-up" on my studies which in fact turned out to nothing more than catching up on sleep and bad day-time television. In my defense, I was burned out from the working-school-sleep and there were a few select Fridays that I actually did research productively.

One day, the cable in Mike's bedroom stopped working. Heaven forbid I actually go downstairs to sit on my lazy half-employed ass to watch daytime MTV (which for your information is terrible but helps my brain relax since its basically watching half naked something's trying to date one another on shows like "Parental Control" or the one with the lie-detection software so your BFF can tell if your potential suitor is a complete douchette).

I called Mike in complete panic, he said to check the cable in the back and make sure it was still connected. I turned the TV around to inspect said-cable.

The TV fell over. I lunged in front of it. So the TV fell on me. That was unpleasant.

Part III
Unbeknownst to me, the TV had fallen on not only me, but also on my pretty Fendi. I'm not sure where I was, but I reached into my Fendi a few days later to pull something out of it. The insides of my purse were quite sticky. I couldn't figure it out. The it all flashed through the Cadbury egg in the bag, the TV smushing the Cadbury egg which I hadn't noticed because th TV mostly fell on me.

Everything was covered in Cadbury Creme. The eggs had been crushed under the weight and had days to ooze its sugary goodness over my keys, my phone, my notebook. And everything, absolutely everything including my darling designer purse was slatered in a thin layer of that white ane yellow sugar goo. And the best part is it that lovely Cadbury cereme had hardened
in the cracks of my keys and my cell phone. I couldn't even get my housekey into the lock.

Utterly obnoxious. Furthermore, that stuff does not come off! I had to soak my keys in a mixture of dish soap and warm water overnight. My phone suffered heavily as I couldn't actually soak it in water, instead I just slowly let that creme-filling flake off slowly over time.