on weddings.

I haven't blogged in months and I'm slowly but surely forgetting how to form a sentence... below is a frustrated post that I had written a few months before the wedding. I seem pretty pissed. Now that the dust has settled though I would make a few observations:

1) Weddings are overhyped, but it was worthwhile to see all my friends and family in the same place.

2) Its an awful of effort, but since its about you, its easy to get carried away.

3) I'm glad I got married. (It's only four months in, maybe I'll change my mind)

And yes, I'll try to start posting regularly again after the 6-month gap.


However, please enjoy my angry rantings below.
---
June 2007
I've been approached many times over the last twelve months about my upcoming nuptials. I believe people expect me to be gushing about pink hyacinths that will be in my bouquet. Or shrieking in a shrilly voice about how fabulous it is to be joining the rank of the settled-down boring people (not a jab at all boring people, just a gross generalization). This is how allegedly-normal engaged women react. My friend who is getting married the month after me asked me to buy my bridesmaid dress 10-months in advance. My friend who is getting married three months after me bought her dress before I bought a wedding magazine. For a person that is so punctual, ambitious and efficient, I felt behind. I tried not to care, shake it off, but everytime I got close to succeeding someone would approach me about some impending doom.


I disappoint these expectations. I have no engagement ring. I'm throwing a big wedding because of my fiance (which I'm happy to do, I'm just saying it wasn't my idea). Overall, I just want to get a nap and a better job. Also, I'm still aiming to impact the world in some profoundly positive way. You see, I'm very busy. I love me a life partner but, but I'd still like to have priorities that are about me achieving more than being one-half of a couple.


So, since I do not react in this precise, sociologically pre-determined manner. I am a fake. I don't want to get married. I'm just doing this because my "time" is running out. I'm settling. I'll probably break off the engagement. I'll probably be divorced. I am uncommitted. To anyone who thinks this or says this to me, I would tell them to eat it. But sadly, I am too lazy to make that kind of effort on this kind of judgement.